October 24. The Three S's.

As a leader, sometimes our team members become entangled with one another. They may get territorial and aggressive towards one another as they compete. They can become siloed, only paying attention to themselves, and value can be harmed.

Team members can get entangled when their attention gets distracted because of their home life, personal relationships that are imploding, and situational frustrations. But who are they competing with? Many times, it is for the leader’s attention, for resources for themselves and it just might be for affirmation.

If we are to bring the value our teams bring to others, then we must pay attention to the value that our team provides to one another. How do you help your team to be valuable to one another? Scolding, sarcasm, and shame can be powerful tools, but they leave behind a bitter taste that is not about value.

We can give these three tools a name. I want to call them the three S’s. Can you recall when one of the three S's were used on you? Did they leave a bitter feeling in your heart? This method of communicating creates a neural network in our brain that can make a team member avoid the situation and sometimes avoid the leader.

Do we want team members avoiding the leader? Let us think this week about the other tools that might help our team. Consider making your focus this week to be on affirmation, appreciation, and curiosity this week. Perhaps we can put an emphasis on doing them privately until we master their use.

Using a tool publicly with a team member may not have the same effect that it does privately. Where, when and with which team member might you start? Could it be yourself?

Brothers and sisters in Christ, how gentle are we being in our corrections and in our words of rebuke? We read, “Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth,” 2 Timothy 2:25 NIV.

We need to have compassion with our opponents. I was cutting some trees the other day with my chainsaw. When I am running it, I must be very thoughtful as to the cut. Once I place a single cut the tree cannot be repaired. It will never be the same again.

When I cut a tree down, it is done. It will not grow back. The shade and wind break it provided is not easily replaced. In fact, it takes years for a replacement to grow back in. I suppose if one had unlimited resources, you could replace it with a great big tree but that takes a lot of resources.

Sarcasm, scolding and shaming can be like those cuts into a tree. They can create a situation that can be difficult, if not impossible, to repair. Where have the three S's kept you from Jesus? The tools that we use in our faith that love others are likely to copy Christ.

Which tool of love will you use this week? Let us focus on affirmation this week and make it our go to tool. If you think appreciation or curiosity fit your week better, then make them your focus. What is the first thing you can do about it in the next seven days?

Let us pray, Jesus, from you there is only love. Even your discipline is done from love. Comfort us today to let our hearts be full of joy. When we are hurting let our compassion compel us. Help us to keep the scars from causing us to create sarcasm, scolding and shaming.

Enhance our ability this week to connect, care, and have compassion. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen,